im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
