I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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