Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
