i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
