The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
How's work?
Spinning.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
