I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
