Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
