I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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