The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
