Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Even my vagina gasped.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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