you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
