I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
