You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my being single is dangerous.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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