I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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