I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
