Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
