dude i'm inner monologue high
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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