I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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