i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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