would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
