is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
