btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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