there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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