I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
