the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i think i scared a bird with my dick
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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