One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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