She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
