U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
