i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
