Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
