Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think my moral compass just broke
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
