yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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