its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
