do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
