he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
