super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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