Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
