Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
