Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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