I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
