Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think your dad took our porno
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Holy shit dude........stairs
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
