Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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