I can feel you judging me through the phone.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
