this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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