my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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