ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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