You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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