Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
