I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
