3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
