So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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