DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
